I write for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, perform at the Upright Citizens Brigade, and make web videos.

Thursday
June 6
2013

What Did The Dog

badkidsjokes:

Q: what did the dog do to the floor

A: it clean the floor

Great misdirect.

Monday
June 3
2013
Discovered this during a wiki walk.

Discovered this during a wiki walk.

Thursday
May 30
2013
I wrote this poem.

I wrote this poem.

Tuesday
May 21
2013

“Call Me In The Day” by La Luz. This is great! The rest of the EP is good too and only five bucks.

I saw this comment on Reddit. It was literally about sword fighting, but it applies to everything else as well. I love it.

You know they say that the number 1 swordsmen should never fear the number 2 swordsmen. Not ever, he was brought up in the same way, taught the same way, learned the same way, but he is, and more then likely will remain the second best. What the number one swordsmen should fear the most, is the one who has learned and practiced nothing. The untrained, unrefined everyman is unpredictable, he does not know what he can and cannot do, the inns and outs. He has no concept of what it takes to be the number one swordsmen and probably hasn’t even given it much thought. He is an undefined variable, you cannot know what he will do when he will strike, how the strike will come, and that should terrify the number one swordsmen.

I saw this comment on Reddit. It was literally about sword fighting, but it applies to everything else as well. I love it.

You know they say that the number 1 swordsmen should never fear the number 2 swordsmen. Not ever, he was brought up in the same way, taught the same way, learned the same way, but he is, and more then likely will remain the second best. What the number one swordsmen should fear the most, is the one who has learned and practiced nothing. The untrained, unrefined everyman is unpredictable, he does not know what he can and cannot do, the inns and outs. He has no concept of what it takes to be the number one swordsmen and probably hasn’t even given it much thought. He is an undefined variable, you cannot know what he will do when he will strike, how the strike will come, and that should terrify the number one swordsmen.

Year

A year ago today I decided to signal to the universe that I was ready for a job in comedy. I had read some pretty inspirational quotes by (no joke) Will Smith about how nothing good happens unless you take risks. So I took a risk and emailed my only freelance client to let them know I was done with programming.

Less than two hours later Nate Dern emailed me and invited me to be part of a writer-performer showcase for Fallon.

I know that the universe doesn’t behave in a consistent way, and that everyone’s experiences are subjective and random, and that there’s danger in taking your own small sliver of experience and deciding that you have Figured Out How It Works. But for me, in my own life, I took what happened that day as, you know - a “sign.”

I don’t think everyone who wants X should rashly drop whatever they have going for them in the hopes that the universe will replace it with X. But some times, at very specific moments, if you get the feeling that now is the time to do something or stop doing something, maybe it’s good to go with that.

Saturday
May 11
2013

Kararty

badkidsjokes:

what do you call a pig that does kararty

kararty pig man

Friday
May 10
2013
I love these signs so much. The misspellings only add to it.

I love these signs so much. The misspellings only add to it.

Tuesday
May 7
2013

Dead Parrot sketch

The best thing about the Dead Parrot sketch is that the shopkeeper stays calm.

Saturday
May 4
2013

jamesadomian:

“The United States of America is home to 4% of the world’s population and 25% of the world’s PRISON population.”

Highest prison population in the world, by number and by percentage, far more than China or Russia. How are we free again? How are we supposed to be the good guys again?

Oh yeah, cuz TV is on and things look free on there.

(Source: thepeoplesrecord)

Friday
May 3
2013

Icona Pop doing “I Love It” last night. Love this song and this performance.

Wednesday
May 1
2013
lloydbishop:

The very happy Joey Sahakian

This is Late Night’s Mac support guy, Joey. He’s always in a great mood and always ready to help out with stuff. He’s good.

lloydbishop:

The very happy Joey Sahakian

This is Late Night’s Mac support guy, Joey. He’s always in a great mood and always ready to help out with stuff. He’s good.

Wednesday
April 24
2013
natgeofound:

A tourist stops to get directions from a cop in Questa, New Mexico, 1926.Photograph by Luis Marden, National Geographic

Whoa, this is beautiful.

natgeofound:

A tourist stops to get directions from a cop in Questa, New Mexico, 1926.Photograph by Luis Marden, National Geographic

Whoa, this is beautiful.

Tuesday
April 23
2013
This is a wallpaper from TBS.com. I also saw a version of it as a subway ad.
But the quote is wrong.
So.

This is a wallpaper from TBS.com. I also saw a version of it as a subway ad.

But the quote is wrong.

So.